elrondy:

when we were at the airport one time the guy at check-in reminded us that we weren’t allowed to carry sharp objects with us onto the plane and i said “oh looks like i’ll have to leave behind my wit” and thats how i made a middle-aged guy laugh so hard he had to get his colleague to take over his check-in desk

Tuesday / 212590 / reblog

I need this 

proctalgia:

girls dont want you to be nice to them because they’re girls they want you to be nice to them because they’re human beings and you should be nice to everyone wtf is wrong with you

Tuesday / 136942 / reblog

neptunain:

sorry boys, but I already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested

Tuesday / 61874 / reblog
The Shins- New Slang
Tuesday / 6360 / reblog
sinfullyxyours:

IM ABSOLUTELY PISSING MYSELF
BRUH
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS AND WHY DO I KEEP SAYING IT?? MY MOM TOLD ME TO CLEAN MY ROOM TODAY AND I LOOKED HER STRAIGHT IN THE EYE AND SAID “BRUH” (via isnowfairy)
Tuesday / 235656 / reblog